He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize