I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
She announced her abortion via fbk
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
