The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
This is classic penis vs brain.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Randomize
