they need to just BURY HIM!
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize