..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
