Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
