He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
did you just send me my own nude
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
