In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
You're a waste of cheezeits
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
