you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
