I am in a vortex of obligation.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
