don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
