Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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