a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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