I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
