I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Randomize
