I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
