what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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