Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
