also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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