my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
