have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
