Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
The air taste purple.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
