Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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