I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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