i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
