Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(212): View more from New York

Your dad touched me again.

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(708): View more from Illinois

Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.

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(513): View more from Ohio

Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.

Fav 7 2135 1152
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(775): View more from Nevada

I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me

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(+61): View more from Australia

Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...

Fav 4 3012 995
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(770): View more from Georgia

He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.

Fav 21 1423 811
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(802): View more from Vermont

You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers

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(914): View more from New York

you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through

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(773): View more from Illinois

Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019

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