I am in a vortex of obligation.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
