but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
