Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Randomize
