i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
