Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
