wat bout pragnant strippers??
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Randomize
