White coat. Heels.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
