Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Michael Bay diarrhea
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize