my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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