Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize