1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Randomize
