So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
