If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
did i just pee glitter
Randomize
