Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Pappa wants mamma naked
I take back everything I said about communal showers
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
