he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
