Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
