Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
