when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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