i jhust puked up my retainher.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
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