Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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