I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize
