Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
