I heard we made out
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Randomize
