all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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