That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize