I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
