ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
No stitches, just platelets and will power
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
