just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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