if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
i permit you to call me
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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