I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
