i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
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