im drinking this country out of the recession.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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