The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
