why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Farmville is her only friend.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Randomize
