Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
