Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Randomize
