I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
