It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
