How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
