Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
