I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
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