Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
