I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
im holly from the hills drunk
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
