he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
