Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
